Hands up, I don't blog enough. I probably don't partake in enough of the debate on Twitter and social media around teaching (although some of it is ludicrous). However, that in itself is why I've felt the need to get some thoughts down here.
I'm currently reading Mark Manston's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. The title alone probably guaranteed his book a level of success- a level of success that wouldn't have been sustained had it not contained humour and substance in equal measure (I highly recommend it). Manston argues that it's not so much about not giving a f*ck about anything, but rather about being more selective about what we give a f*ck about. There's a couple of things he mentions in the early stages of the book which I think are really quite pertinent: 1- The issue of the vicious circle Often, if we want something (and chase it) it will more likely that not lead some kind of positive or negative reinforcement loop that will mean that we chase something else. In my own book, I've talked about the problem with defining a school by results alone- it's a beast that feeds itself. I'm a shocker for spending money- when my anxiety increases, so does my credit card bill. In recent weeks, agonising over which smart watch to buy or which Robot Vacuum to buy (I'm not joking) has - in truth - been a distraction from some other huge things going on in my life at the moment (impending child #2 and not being able to get to my brother's wedding on foreign shores, for example). What's my point, exactly? I think - whether on an individual, departmental or school level - it's vital to know the narratives and values that underpin our actions. Thinking about this as a Head of English when I comb over all results (including my own) I know I won't be held over a barrel in some kind of inhumane way as my school is an exceptional place to work - and one that understands the realities of teaching life (which makes me want to work harder and strive for those results... go figure). It is with this in mind that I will be using the results analysis as a springboard to inform conversations with my team in September. That's because I want to be someone that develops and leads through honesty and integrity - and I don't care if that does make me sound like David Brent, because I mean it. My analysis and conversations will be keeping in mind how I can make my team more than the sum of its parts, and not how I can cover my arse. Frankly, I think schools/leaders/HoDs that chase results as an end in itself at any cost are undermining the very institutions, staff, children and communities that they claim to serve. Things to ask yourself: - what am I really chasing? - what aspects of my role am I prioritising and why? Is it me? My school? My line manager? 2. Choosing what to give a f*ck about Manston discusses the oft-told story of the Japanese soldiers in a forest refusing to believe that the war was over and fighting on regardless- irrespective of messages from their leaders/friends/families because they thought they were just all a ruse to trick them into come out of hiding. They wouldn't let it go. Looking at myself, my own family think it's a cute quirk that I watch The Dark Knight Rises and Ghostbusters a few times a year. And also, anyone looking at my 'heavy rotation' on Spotify would think I'm a very odd person indeed. People would also think I'm a bit odd for reading and researching gadget reviews for hours on end before making a purchase, just as I think it's a bit odd that my father in law searches for cars for months in end before driving hundreds of miles to pick up a random second hand motor. My point? I think it's about choosing what to give a f*ck about. Let's take results for a second- of course I give a f*ck about them as they're an important indicator of overall performance, but I only give a f*ck about them as much as they will inform my next steps and driving questions. I think once we take the time to realise what we think is important and what we give a f*ck about, then things become much less cluttered and confusing. Things to ask yourself: - When I get my results (or my department's results), what are the next steps? - How can I approach the objective measures of the results with a positive mindset? What qualifying factors go hand in hand with the data?
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Excerpt #2 from the book; it's the part of the book where things become a little bit more applied and practical. Again, apologies if you pick up any typos- it's with the publisher now so I hope they'll find the last of these!
I hope you enjoy...
People - usually barbers and taxi drivers, for some reason - wince when I say I’m a teacher: ‘oohh, you are brave, hats off to you.’ What they are referring to is the kids, usually. Some of the more discerning will have an idea about the paperwork being ridiculous, with some even commenting on the marking. In any respect, the narrative around the profession is overwhelmingly negative: there is no escaping it. That, I think, plays a large part in the declining Mental Health of everyone inside it. There’s even the insidious narrative from the inside of the cult of the ‘hero teacher,’ with some schools (perhaps unknowingly) celebrating and advocating the sacrifice of work-life balance. However much we think we are culpable for our Depression or anxieties, the first place to start is to see yourself as partof a much bigger picture. You are not your thoughts, nor are you defined by your environment. Does this change things? No. Does a more accurate sense of perspective lead to a heightened feeling of agency and control? Unquestionably. Please, pleasedo not think I am writing from a perspective of elevated knowledge- I still have plenty of days where the perspective is much harder to reach, and I’m much more exposed to Anxiety. I think Depression is much like grief: when you lose someone, imagine them as a circle inside of a bigger circle- the bigger circle is your life. As your life grows around it, the person doesn’t shrink, but your outer circle grows as you move through your life. Some days are lower - naturally - they just aren’t like the ones I had before. There is clear evidence that the way we perceive events manifests in our brain’s physiologically,[1]and constantly feeling under threat has undeniable links to Anxiety and Depression through what have been called ‘dysfunctional attitudes.’[2] At the heart of the CFT model is dealing with shame and guilt: threatening cultures lead staff to feel these things about themselves as individuals-not just as professionals. With more perspective, we can start to cultivate a more positive self-image. Unfortunately, the kind of society we live in is very binary: you are either ‘good’ or you’re ‘not.’ Intrinsic value judgements on people- including our own about ourselves - are mistaken for a sign of intuition and decisiveness. The truth is that there are very few absolutes in life; this is where to start when we think about our own self image. Missing a deadline or getting it wrong with a student can add to a perceived story we might tell ourselves- which might make sense and give us clarity- but actually be profoundly harmful. To perpetuate any sense of an ‘OK’ self image, or one what stops us from feeling too low, we can actually become addictedto Anxiety: we panic about a set of exam results, or a deadline, and when things turn out OK, the hormonal release in our brain and that sense of relief reinforces our need to chase it again. This is more troubling when we think about Section 2 of this book: it’s a zero-sum game too- if we’re not helping ourselves, our colleagues and students, we’re doing them harm. The words of Dame Alison Peacock are especially useful here in terms of the demoralisation that we can experience: What do you think are the key influences on teacher well-being and Mental Health? Typically the kind of person that wants to become a teacher is someone who is passionate about making a difference, but the job is vast. When that turns into something that feels that it's controlling youinstead of youcontrolling it, and if you get to the point where the things that you're being expected to do go beyond time and the capacity that you feel that you have, then it becomes very difficult. You don't want to let the children down, you don't want to let your colleagues and the wider community down and also the accountability agenda is such that individuals are personally held to account for the performance of others. That's a very difficult place to find yourself when you're worrying about assessment results from other people when there can be all sorts of other factors that can come into play and then we're told we're not allowed to make any excuses. Lost Connections: The Vacuum Where Depression and Anxiety Thrives Johann Hari’s Lost Connections traces human Depression back to a range of factors linked by a loss of value, meaning and purpose. One of the cornerstones of the research he came across was that it’s not just ‘difficulties’ (such as really tough ongoing and long-term circumstances) that can cause Mental Health problems, but also a lack of what researchers called ‘stabilisers’ in someone’s environment (i.e. things - such as friends and supportive partners - that might protect you from negative stuff). Too much of the former and too little of the latter is effectively a cocktail for disaster.[3] If you combine long-term difficulties and a lack of ‘stabilisers’ in one’s personal life- the odds don’t just add up- they explode. As much as anything, this is also what we perceive to be difficulties and stabilisers too- it’s subjective. The point here is that given the pace of modern education and its search for meaning and solutions, we are in a somewhat risky business. In terms of Hari’s connections, I’ve taken the ones here that I feel most obviously link to an educational context. When you consider them, be honest, and be compassionatein terms of their relevance - at this stage, it’s about understanding,and being mindful; at the risk of sounding a bit naff, when the truth reveals itself, the sting is taken away. As much as anything, this is about understanding ourselves as humans in a much bigger picture. Note, these are just questions to reflect upon, and ways of understanding the root causes of how we’re feeling about our work- nothing more, nothing less.
Questions to ask:
Questions to ask:
Questions to ask:
Questions to ask:
I have to say this: these questions feel like they’re from a ‘No-Win No Claims’ Advert. Anyway – I digress - of course, like everything we’ve already talked about, these things also operate on a much wider level. What if schools’ work is now defined solely by things that don’t speak to anyone’sintrinsic values? What if school leaders are experiencing such chronic disempowerment that we are growing sick as a collective? What happens to schools in all contexts that don’t feel recognised for the work they do? What consequences are there for communities when leaders from schools are isolated from one another, operating as competing silos? What’s the impact on teachers when the only real dialogue about the profession is when terrible documentaries shed light on the darker experiences of working in schools? I’ll not labour this point here, but it’s worth giving it some thought. Schools - just like its stakeholders - are bound by a common humanity that is unavoidable, with unavoidably human consequences. [1]Simon-Thomas, Emiliana R., et al. “An FMRI Study of Caring vs Self-Focus during Induced Compassion and Pride.” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, vol. 7, no. 6, 2011, pp. 635–648., doi:10.1093/scan/nsr045. [2]Johnson, Edward A., and Karen A. O'brien. “Self-Compassion Soothes the Savage EGO-Threat System: Effects on Negative Affect, Shame, Rumination, and Depressive Symptoms.” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, vol. 32, no. 9, 2013, pp. 939–963., doi:10.1521/jscp.2013.32.9.939. [3]Brown, George W., and Tirril O. Harris. Social Origins of Depression: a Study of Psychiatric Disorder in Women. Routledge, 2011. [4]Marmot, Michael. Status Syndrome: How Your Social Standing Directly Affects Your Health. Bloomsbury, 2015. [5]Preidt, Robert. “Loneliness May Lead to Sleepless Nights.” WebMD, WebMD, 1 June 2017, www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20170601/can-loneliness-rob-you-of-needed-sleep. [6]Hawkley, Louise C., and John T. Cacioppo. “Perceived Social Isolation: Social Threat Vigilance and Its Implications for Health.” Oxford Handbooks Online, 2011, doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195342161.013.0050. If you've stumbled onto this page, hello.
I've had far more people than I expected asking me to blog about the book and share some snippets. So I thought I'd start with one of the more difficult parts of the book- the bit I so affectionately call 'The Crash'- more specifically - my mental crash. I'll post one or two more before March, but please comment/email me if you have anything to say or any questions. The book is released on 1st March. Here goes... On reflection- much to my bafflement now- I had ignored all the warning signs: checking my phone and waking in the night to add to my to-do list, working through lunch and dinner, not speaking with my wife and no exercise. I began to grow distant from my family as well; when Wilfred cried, that weight on my chest would increase, and when he came to hold my hand and ask me to play, waves of Anxiety crushed my insides. I even ignored it when the wakefulness in the night became more frequent. However, that weight on my chest that started to characterise my mornings? It would surely just go away, I thought.… This was life in the fast lane, wasn’t it? How silly. In his masterpiece The Noonday Demon, Andrew Solomon captures the sneaking horrors of this with wonderful eloquence: “The birth and death of Depression occur at once. I returned, not long ago, to a wood in which I played as a child and saw an oak, a hundred years dignified, in whose shade I used to play with my brother. In twenty years, a huge vine had attached itself to this confident tree and had nearly smothered it. It was hard to say where the tree left off and the vine began.”[1] Around that time, my brother – a person I have an unshaking love and respect for- I idolise him truth be told - jokingly commented that I’d ‘died’ on him. It hit me, to be honest, but I brushed it off. No time to waste. Two months earlier at a family gathering, I remember remarking to Philippa - my wife - ‘I feel like the Ghost of Christmas Past: no one gives a toss if I’m here or not.’ I was angry, frustrated and upset, but I didn’t really know why. That day, my mum had looked at me and asked, ‘where’s my Andy gone? I’ve lost him.’ I was a grey, tired, miserable shadow of myself, with huge bags under my eyes, lost under a pile of self-importance, work and stress. At the time, I recall the feeling inside me being somewhere between irritability and dismissive when I looked back at her; I was so, so angry. I thought she was being unsupportive and making it all about her when I was just being busy and successful. Anyway, back to my parents’ house: I noticed a swathe of emotion overcome me and then leave me all at once; I didn’t know what it was, but I just wanted to be alone. I took myself away to my parents’ kitchen and sat there quietly. I felt unspeakably miserable. Beaten to the point of no-return. Just utterly hopeless. Not only was I beaten, but now I realised the Harvey Spector suit I had been wearing was from Matalan, not Savile Row; I didn’t have the finances, the corner office, or even a fraction of the success to go with it. I sat, silently. I hoped to hell no one would find me, yet I was desperate for someone to come and pop their head around the door. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be alone at that moment, or whether I needed someone to intervene. After about five minutes, mum emerged and glanced at me. She asked casually: ‘you alright?’ I looked up, held her in my eye for a second, and just shook my head, then I burst into tears. [1]Solomon, Andrew. “The Noonday Demon: an Anatomy of Depression.” The Noonday Demon: an Anatomy of Depression, Vintage, 2016. |
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